2018 in Film: Review

Greetings.

I know I only do this one blog post for the year, but hey, this is one of my only social media accounts. And I’m sure there’s at least one other person out in the interweb interested in reading my film year review thoughts. (Or not. It’s cool.) So continue on I must, and I shall until the year I die. (Or whenever I feel like quitting. Either one.)

2018 proved to be an ‘Eh’ year in film. I didn’t see nearly as many as I wanted, mostly because I went and got pregnant again. (Don’t worry, my husband was the sperm carrier responsible.) So I’ve been having to binge some of these in the new year,  but I feel like I’ve seen enough to finally give my collected thoughts. So keep reading if you’re interested!

Movies Seen from 2018: 30

Movies Yet to See: 52

[NOTE: I won’t be including a Worst Film of 2018 this year, since the ones that could have been in the running (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, The Meg, Rampage) have not been seen, nor will they be seen, since I’ve decided not to even bother. But it would’ve been unfair to put any of those down, so I shall refrain from passing judgment.]

Best/Favorite Film of 2018: Spider-Man Into the Spider-verse

PLOT TWIST! My picks for best AND favorite film are the same! That hasn’t happened since an entire decade earlier, when I crowned The Dark Knight as both, because obviously. And honestly, if you’ve seen this absolutely amazing film, it’s not hard to see why. This is hands-down the best Spider-Man film we’ve ever gotten, and easily one of the best superhero films ever. From the animation style, the voice-acting, the music, and the story, everything is pitch-perfect, blending humor with heart seamlessly. I was not expecting to enjoy this as much as I did, but I was completely hooked in the first 60 seconds, no lie. I’m calling it: Spider-verse is one of the best movies of this century thus far.

The “Hey, I Actually Saw the Best Picture Oscar Winner Before Everyone Could Take a Dump On It!” Award: Green Book

All jokes aside, I quite like Green Book a lot. I saw this with my older brother, who may be even more of a cinefile than me (but his opinions are not as good as mine), and I was pretty charmed by the whole thing. (He was not. Therefore, moot opinion.) Sure, the subject matter could be considered problematic, but it’s still a triumphant story of being true to yourself in times of great adversity, and I appreciate the more saccharine approach to the topic of racism than other films released this year. (More on that later.) And the chemistry between Viggo Mortensen and Mahershala Ali (who deserved his Oscar win) was joyful to behold. No, Green Book can’t cure racism. But the heck if it doesn’t try.

Wait, a Horror Film is Actually Good?: A Quiet Place

Sorry, Hereditary fans. I do not plan on seeing that film, ever. (I have a problem with Satan worship and decapitation. Oops, spoilers.) However, I DID have the chance to see A Quiet Place in the theatre … and I am so glad for it. The film’s use of silence and sound is incredible, and I loved/appreciated the deaf angle, since it’s a new spin on telling a story, and also because I have a deaf niece. It’s nice to see that community be represented in such a mainstream film! Emily Blunt also made me terrified of giving birth later that year, and I was genuinely scared in some parts. (But let’s be real, it doesn’t take much for me to be scared in a HORROR film. Even the more vanilla ones.) I’m very excited for the second part coming out in 2020; I’m crossing my fingers it’s just as good as this one.

Most Underrated Film of 2018: First Man

Seriously, how did no one see this? Damien Chazelle is an impressive filmmaker, and I’ve loved his previous outings in Whiplash and La La Land. I loved the aesthetic of this film, which plays like it was made in the ’60s; you can tell it was done with film, and the music sounds like it took inspiration from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Regrettably, I didn’t get a chance to see this in the theatre, but maybe that’s for the best, since some scenes made my neck hurt. I appreciated Chazelle’s attempts to truly immerse the audience in what the launches really felt like for these astronauts, and it was a very bold move not to paint the Armstrong’s marital relationship in rose-tinted glasses. These are real people with real problems, and space can’t fix them.

Most Overrated Film of 2018: Crazy Rich Asians

Look, I’m all for minorities getting their day in the sun with film representation. It’s amazing the strides Hollywood continues to make to get to this point. But honestly? These minorities deserve better. Crazy Rich Asians is a fine film, but its cliche plot is disappointing. Give these people new and interesting material to work with, not just some run-of-the-mill stories that could easily be made by an all-white cast. (Also, do the same for Black Panther, which is basically The Lion King retold through superheroes.) The only bright spots of this film were the costumes and Awkwafina’s hilarious performance. Thank goodness she’ll be in a much more intriguing-sounding film this year, Sundance’s The Farewell. Those are the kind of stories they deserve.

Seriously, Star Wars Fans, MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!!!: Solo – A Star Wars Story

Between Star Wars fans pitching fits about The Last Jedi’s subversive plots (get over it already, jeez) and whining about Solo’s “boring” storytelling, there is honestly no pleasing these people. I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the crap out of Solo. Admittedly it felt more like a “Star Wars movie” than Last Jedi did (which I’m still not mad about at all, so don’t come at me), but that’s the charm to it! I was completely entertained the whole 2 hour 15 minute runtime; I thought Alden Ehrenreich was a good Han Solo; and the more I watch these newer Star Wars films, the more I’m beginning to realize I would be one of the sassy droids in that universe. Don’t take this stuff too seriously, guys — it just makes the rest of us fans look like jerks, too.

The Comeback Year in Animation: Isle of Dogs

It is SO NICE to see quality animated films again. Between above-mentioned Spiderverse, Pixar’s hilarious Incredibles 2, and Disney’s solid Ralph Breaks the Internet, it’s been a heck of a year for animation. But the standout was definitely Wes Anderson’s Isle of Dogs, his stop-motion followup to 2009’s equally excellent Fantastic Mr Fox. The animation is jaw-dropping, the voice cast is a dream, and the humor is just gut-busting. And the fact that it takes place in Japan just adds the icing, since I’m slightly obsessed with the country. 5 minutes into watching this, my husband and I agreed we needed to get this on Blu-Ray. Wes Anderson could do stop-motion films for the rest of his career, and I’d be totally on board.

It Took 118-ish Years to Get a Film That EVERYONE Should See: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Along with RBG and Three Identical Strangers (and the other docs I haven’t seen yet, LOL), it’s been awesome to see so many documentaries getting so much attention among the blockbusters and indie darlings. And obviously, Won’t You Be My Neighbor? reigns supreme. I grew up watching “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood,” but I learned so much more about how Fred Rogers created and essentially ran the whole production. And there’s so much goodness to his mission; he truly was ahead of his time, and we all can still strive to profess the same message of love, acceptance, kindness, and service. Seriously, if you haven’t seen this yet, WATCH IT NOW.

Most Disappointing Film of 2018: BlackkKlansman

Granted, this is my first official outing into a Spike Lee joint, and don’t get me wrong, the man is talented at his craft. However, the overall flow of BlackkKlansman just didn’t really work for me. One part wanting to be evocative of ’70s “blacksploitation” films, and another part starkly bleak and heavy-handed, I understand he wanted to blend these 2 overarching points into one cohesive film. It’s funny, and devastatingly raw, and the true story is INSANE … but I wish it would’ve been more smoothly executed. Kudos to the truly terrifying displays of racism in the KKK; and major kudos to John David Washington (aka, Baby Denzel), Topher Grace (the fact that he plays smarmy David Duke so well MUST mean he’s a very nice person IRL), and forever boyfriend Adam Driver (who totally deserved his Oscar nod, HOLLA) for their performances.

The “HOLY CRAP, HOLY CRAAP, HOLY CRAAAP” Award: Mission Impossible – Fallout

So I went to CinemaCon last year with the Cinemast team, and during Paramount’s presentation of Fallout, Tom Cruise and Christopher McQuarrie broke down the HALO jump sequence down for us in attendance. And my heck … it was unbelievable. That stunt, combined with every other INSANE stunt in the film, is what really makes this Mission Impossible outing the best of the franchise, hands down. Whatever your feelings may be about Tom Cruise, you gotta give it to the guy for doing his own work. He’s probably gonna die one of these days doing one. What a way to go. (Also, shout-out to Henry Cavill for being the only man in existence who can pull off a mustache and NOT look like a pedophile.)

Thank You For Bringing Back My Childhood, Disney: Mary Poppins Returns

I saw this earlier in January with Mam, and it was one of those times where I couldn’t stop smiling throughout the entire runtime. I LOVE THIS FILM SO MUCH. From Emily Blunt being adorably sociopathic as Mary Poppins, to the music and songs, to the costumes (I want all her outfits, dangit!!), to hearing Lin-Manuel Miranda doing his Hamilton bit in “The Cover is Not the Book,” watching this brings me so much happiness to my soul. It’s giving La La Land a run for its money as the “Sunshine In Movie Form” department.

Ultimate Nerd Comfort Food in Film Form: Ready Player One

Is it gimmicky, glorified fan service? Yes. Do I give one banana about this fact? NO WAY. Ready Player One is probably the film from last year that I’ve rewatched the most so far, and honestly, can you blame my nerdy-girl heart? Spielberg really hit it out of the park with this film, and all the callbacks of my millennial childhood — the Dolorean! Gundam! THE IRON FREAKING GIANT!!! — feed into the fits of giggles I have whenever I watch this overloaded venture into virtual reality. Plus, I need more Mark Rylance and Ben Mendelsohn in my life, always.

Okay, It Took Me an Hour to Appreciate This: Roma

For the first hour of Roma … I didn’t get the hype. I turned it off and came back to it a couple days later. And then I understood. Watching Cleo’s journey as a housemaid to a family going through divorce, while she’s pregnant with a one-time boyfriend’s child, is so intimate and quiet, I felt like I was watching real life. The cinematography is just spectacular, and Yalitza Aparicio’s performance transcends just playtime for two hours. The small instance of violence, and the scene that follows right after (which I won’t spoil) is so heartbreaking. It may not be a film for everyone, but for those interested in what the hype is all about, Alfonso Cuarón’s still got the touch. Give it a watch.

Best Performance in an Otherwise Meh Film: Bohemian Rhapsody

Queen’s music basically defines my senior year of high school. My friends and I listened to them (and Elton John, and the Beatles, and Bob Marley, and Led Zeppelin) a ton through that year, and it was a blast. Watching Bohemian Rhapsody, however … not so much. This film has divided my family: some of them really love it, and the rest of us just let out a collective “MEH”. But one thing we can all agree on is Rami Malek’s out of body performance as Freddie Mercury. I say out of body because clearly the soul of Mercury (RIP) took possession of Malek during filming and propelled him into the performance that won him an Oscar. Rightly so. Watch this just for Malek/Mercury. It’s truly outstanding.

Most Anticipated Film I Still Need to See From 2018: A Star is Born

This beats out Wildlife, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, The Favourite, If Beale Street Could Talk, and First Reformed for the top spot in What I Need To Watch NOW. A Star is Born is not a new story; the film’s been done 3 times before now (1937, 1954, 1976). But it’s a familiar tale that still manages to stay relevant throughout the passing years, and I’d like to see what new things have been brought to the table. Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga really seem to give it their all, and I’m shamelessly attracted to “Shallow” (though it ultimately feels like an incomplete song). Hopefully I can knock this off my list soon.

Paul Rudd Appreciation, Part II: Paul Rudd

Oh, Paul Rudd. Did you find the Fountain of Youth on Beaver Mountain? Because, honey, you don’t look a day past 35. Can we all just give this man a communal hug and “National Treasure of the Century” award? He’s such a joy to watch in Ant-Man and the Wasp, and he’s only getting better as he ages. Could he still be playing Scott Lang in 10 years? Why not. The man’s figured out time travel, after all. He could do this for another 40 years.

Bringing the Feels Back To My Cold, Dead Heart: Elsie Fisher

I watched Eighth Grade awhile ago and was pleasantly surprised by how good it is. (Because I’m lame. I’ll own up to it.) Elsie Fisher in particular is SO GOOD in this. She actually made me care about youths, and I hardly ever do anymore, because I’m secretly Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino, only about teenagers. But Fisher really made me feel for her character’s struggles, and also very fearful about what the world will be like when my own kids are that age. We must protect them — and Fisher — at all costs.

Well, He’s Definitely Dying in the Sequel: Robert Downey, Jr.

… yep, I called it. RDJ, you’re MARVEL-ous (I’m so sorry). I can’t wait to see where you’ll go now.

The Woman Who Made Me Simultaneously Excited/Terrified to Be a Mom Again: Emily Blunt

I wouldn’t recommend watching A Quiet Place before you’re about to give birth. Granted, I didn’t KNOW I was pregnant at the time I saw this in the theatre … but I watched it again around Halloween, and I started to get nervous. But Emily Blunt is just astounding in the role, and I decided, if SHE could deliver a baby in a bathtub, by herself, while an alien was trying to kill her, then I could certainly deliver mine 2 months later in a hospital, with my husband by my side, with no threat of aliens trying to invade. So thank you, Emily Blunt. It’s all thanks to you that I was able to get my daughter here without any fear.

Favorite Soundtrack: First Man (Justin Hurwitz)

Best Movie Line of 2018: “There’s no law saying best friends have to have the same dream.” – Ralph Breaks the Internet

Funniest Movie Line: “We’re a little team. Me as the teacher who can still do it, you as the student who can do it, just not as good. I’m proud of us!” – Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse

Saddest Movie Line: “He will sometimes send you funny emails. He prefers spaghetti over penne. Have you seen my son? Have you seen my beautiful boy? Tell him I miss him.” – Beautiful Boy

Most Powerful Movie Line: “The greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving.” – Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Favorite Posters:

 

 

 

2017 in Film: Review

Well, this is embarrassing.

HELLO, BLOGISPHERE!!! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? But now it’s that time again where I give my unwanted opinions on 2017’s films. I have to say right off the bat, I wasn’t very diligent this year as I have been in the past. My ratio of films seen to films I still need to see is not great. In my defense, I have 2 valid (to me) excuses — 1) I spent all last year learning (and possibly failing) to be a mom, since I birthed a child the year before; and 2) most of the films on my To-See list are rated R, and I have my stipulations with watching those kinds of films. I quibble, but it’s my life, so get over it.

With all that being said, here are my hot takes on 2017 in film!

Movies Seen in 2017: 26

Movies Yet to See: 40

Best Film of 2017 (seen thus far): Dunkirk

Anyone who knows me knows of my undying love for Christopher Nolan, so I may be a little biased — but you know what? I don’t care, because Dunkirk may be his Magnum Opus. The evacuation of Dunkirk is an incredible event to begin with, and the way Nolan decides to tell the story in three parts — the mole, the sea, the air — over the course of a week, a day, and an hour is dynamic and refreshing. Choosing not to focus on one set main protagonist (though it could be argued that it’s Fionn Whitehead’s soldier on the beach), and focusing solely on bringing the audience into the event itself, is a wise choice: it feels as if Nolan found this story in a time capsule and revealed it to the world completely unchanged. This is not simply a war film; it’s an experience, one that will stay with you long after the credits have rolled.

Favorite Film of 2017: Star Wars Episode VIII – The Last Jedi

It’s probably a cliche at this point to give my Favorite award to a Star Wars film, especially one that has proven to be divisive between the critics and fans. But make no mistake, The Last Jedi has got people talking — good or bad. And for me, I’m sticking around to the end. What this one has over its predecessor, The Force Awakens, is an interesting story that delves deeper in the characters’ psyches — notably of the likable Rey, and the scary-but-ultimately-alluring Kylo Ren. The film has its problems, yes, but what Star Wars film doesn’t, at this point? (Even beloved Empire isn’t 100% perfect, guys, let’s be real.) It’ll be very interesting to see where JJ Abrams take this in Episode IX … hopefully somewhere that will be satisfying and epic.

I Was Not Expecting To Enjoy This As Much As I Did: The Big Sick

I finally had the chance to watch this indie-ish darling on VidAngel (which I used for all the R-rated films mentioned hereafter), and I was blown away by how much I dug it. The Big Sick is the semi-biographical tale of writer/actor Kumail Nanjiani, whose ex-girlfriend (later wife, Emily) falls into a coma, and he decides to stick by her until he wakes up — all while his family pressures him into arranged marriage with a fellow Pakistani girl. This is a rare example of a very funny film that feels genuine throughout; it has a lot of heart at its core that, I think, doesn’t fall into Hollywood playacting. It feels like you’re watching a real love story … because you are.

Best Film That Was Marketed As a Genre That It’s Really Not: Colossal

When this film came out, I remember thinking, “That looks ridiculous and hilarious.” When I got to see it, only one of those assumptions was correct: it is ridiculous. And it’s actually pretty great. What makes this so memorable to me is the psychology between the two leads, Anne Hathaway and Jason Sudeikas, and the arcs their characters take, all while a giant lizard monster and robot terrorize South Korea. (And that’s all I’ll say on the plot.) These are easily their best performances, and while it could be argued that the film could have been something more, it’s one that deserves to be seen and analyzed as character studies.

Most Underrated Film of 2017: The Promise

I am honestly baffled by the backlash this film got. The Promise takes place during the fall of the Ottoman Empire, which is a subject I admittedly need to look into more. It was called “schmaltzy” and “melodramatic”, but really, it doesn’t feel that way to me. Oscar Isaac continues to prove that his ethnic ambiguity may be his best attribute as an actor, and he is fantastic in this, no surprise. There are some real gut-wrenching scenes in this film, and for all the complainers out there, maybe now we’ll get some more adaptations of the Turkish massacre that happened in history.

Most Overrated Film of 2017: Get Out

How do I write a negative critique on Get Out without sounding racist or ignorant? (Because, contrary to what the world may think, I am neither.) As with the above-mentioned The Promise, I do not understand what the big deal about this film is. Sure, the acting is top-notch, and the premise an homage to old Invasion of the Body Snatchers-esque films … but to be touted as “original”, “superb”, and “funny” is a bit of a stretch. It’s disjointedly filmed, downright absurd in some scenes, and just really falls apart in the last ten minutes. (“Get him, Grandpa”? Really?) Frankly, I don’t watch films to have its finger wag in my face about my supposed white privilege; I get that enough from the 24-hour news cycle.

The “Robert Downey, Jr.-Level Comeback” Award: M. Knight Shyamalan/Split

Remember when M. Knight Shyamalan had some great films, then some truly awful films, and there seemed to be no chance of him coming back in favorable light? Yeah, me too. Who’d have thought that when Split came out that it would do just that? I think this may be the one film in 2017 that took everyone by surprise, from the jaw-dropping acting of James McAvoy to the truly outstanding twist at the end (no spoilers). This is easily Shyamalan’s best work since The Village, and to be quite honest, it’s great to have him back in top form. Now, please, dude, don’t screw up Glass. Please, please, please.

The Film That Puts Into Perspective What Being a Woman Means: Wonder Woman

How did it take this long for Wonder Woman to get her own film? And really, with the way DC films have been going lately, this shouldn’t have been as good as it is. With lots of humor, heart, and pretty great action, Wonder Woman fired all cylinders and delivered the goods in the first 2/3 of its runtime. (Admittedly, the last 1/3 kind of falls apart.) But what really makes this film special to me is the underlying theme of what it means to be a woman. You don’t need to have God-like powers, or a gorgeous face, to change the world; it takes love, kindness, and strength to be a force of good. And for a new, struggling mom with clinical depression/anxiety, this was what I needed to see to pick myself up and go forward in life. (For more on this, check out my article)

Most Disappointing Film of 2017: Spider-Man – Homecoming

I had a sneaking feeling, going into this film, that I would not enjoy it … and I was right. To say I do not like Spider-Man: Homecoming is an understatement: I highly doubt I will ever watch this again. Right off the bat, the nicest thing I will say about this is Tom Holland, who is genuinely the best iteration we’ve had of Spider-Man. From there on out, though, it all falls apart. The action is dismal and not filmed well; the high school angle gets old (this is just my late-20s grumpy self opinion); and overall, I was just bored by the whole thing. Michael Keaton should have been an interesting villain, but he’s not given enough time to be shown as a sympathetic character, which is such a tragedy. All in all, I was just left completely deflated by this.

The Matt Damon Hugh Jackman Appreciation Award: Logan

Unlike last year’s R-rated superhero flick, Deadpool, I did not feel guilty watching this film. (Thanks, VidAngel. <3) Logan marks the glorious end of everyone’s favorite X-Men member, taking a more western detour than the expected big-budget route. Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, and newcomer Dafne Keen are all aces across the board, and the story gives Wolverine a satisfying sendoff. Yes, it’s violent; yes, it’s bleak. But holy moly, I loved watching Hugh as an old, burned out Logan — especially considering him being his charming, sing-song man self in The Greatest Showman (which I have yet to see). Keep up the good work, man.

Can We Give These Guys the Oscar For Best Visual Effects Already?: War For the Planet of the Apes

I mean, look at that picture. LOOK AT IT. HOW has Weta not gotten their dues for this yet? If you go back and watch Rise, you will see how far, even in 6 years, the effects have come to produce this flawless CGI. Joe Letteri is aVFX God, and with this level of perfection, there is no excuse for how crappy CGI can look in this day and age. (*cough*Justice League*cough*) And on that note, can we give Andy Freaking Serkis an honorary Oscar, too? Come on, guys. Andy’s amazing, we all know this. Give him something, already.

Guilty Pleasure Film of 2017: Ghost in the Shell

I will own up to my culturelessness (that’s a word, okay?) and say that I have not seen the original anime film. It’s on my list. That being said, I enjoyed the crap out of watching last year’s Ghost in the Shell. Visually speaking, even the grumpy haters admit it’s stellar. It’s not a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but it joins the list of dumb-fun sci-fi films that have come out in the last few years (alongside Oblivion and Passengers). I’m sure once I see the original I’ll change my tune … but for now, this gets a thumbs-up.

The Jurassic World/Independence Day – Resurgence Worst Film of 2017 (seen thus far): Kong – Skull Island

To wit, I have not seen The Emoji Movie (because I do not completely hate myself). I have, however, seen The Mummy … but even that didn’t infuriate me as badly as this Dumpster fire of a film did. I couldn’t even finish Kong: Skull Island, so it may be considered cheating. I don’t care. I can’t stand this stupid film. From the George Lucas-level dialogue to the crappy action to the thin as pulled taffy characters, this is just an awful excuse of a King Kong film. This is what’s going up against Godzilla in a couple years? Did they use the same people who did the CGI for Jurassic World? Ugh. Hard pass.

Most Anticipated Film I Still Need to Watch: Blade Runner 2049

This beats out Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, I, Tonya, The Disaster Artist, Brigsby Bear, and A Ghost Story. I am one of 5 people in the world that isn’t a big fan of the original Blade Runner. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to watch this film, though. I’m a huge fan of Denis Villeneuve: Prisoners is one of the most disturbing films I’ve ever seen; I still watch Sicario on a fairly regular basis; and Arrival took my Best Film spot last year. Plus, THAT TRAILER. *swoons* It’s the most beautiful trailer I’ve ever seen. Deak, you’re finally gonna get your Oscar!

The MVPs of 2017: Female Directors

Granted, I’ve yet to see Mudbound and Lady Bird, but the acclaim can’t be denied. Patty Jenkins, Dee Rees, and Greta Gerwig have been doing a heckova job bringing women directors into the spotlight this year, and their films couldn’t be more different from each other. Jenkins gave us the highest domestic-grossing superhero film of the year, Rees sold her film of post-WWII racism to Netflix for a record amount, and Gerwig is getting serious Best Director Oscar buzz for her real-life comedy. These are the ones to watch out for, Hollywood; and I’m sure there’s more female filmmakers to come on the horizon.

It’s His Award to Lose: Gary Oldman

Gary Olman is on fire. Early on, long before the film even came out, he was generating buzz for finally getting the Best Actor Oscar for playing Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour. And now, since seeing it, I can honestly say that he deserves it. Virtually unrecognizable under makeup, he transforms into the divisive British prime minister — something that he increasingly became known for as an actor. Having not seen Daniel Day-Lewis’s final performance in Phantom Thread, it could go the way of the retiring actor. But I doubt it. This is truly Oldman’s to lose.

Breakout Stars of 2017: Kumail Nanjiani and Gal Gadot

Side note: These 2 are adorable. Kumail Nanjiani and Gal Gadot have been around the Hollywood scene awhile, but they really shot to the top this year. Nanjiani was charming and great in The Big Sick, and he’s a hilarious guy to listen to in interviews. Gadot killed it as Wonder Woman, and has been shown to be an amazing role model for women everywhere. They both hosted their own episodes of Saturday Night Live, they seem like very nice people in real life (if they’re not, don’t tell me, ‘cuz it’ll break my heart), and I’m excited to see what they do next.

Most Versatile Actor Currently Working: Adam Driver

Adam Driver took some time to get in my radar, but now that he is, I’m very happy to see where he goes next. It took me until just 5 days ago to watch one of my top anticipated films of 2016 (Paterson), and it confirmed my initial feeling: this guy is a versatile virtuoso. He goes from playing a mild-mannered bus driver to a one-armed bartender from the South (Logan Lucky) to a truly terrifying, fascinating villain (The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi) so effortlessly, he makes it look too easy. And, um, he’s pretty hot, too. I cannot wait to see his career continue from this point on.

Hitting Me in The Feels, Hard: Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher

Oh, man. I have so much love for these two. Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher are icons in their own right, and to see them reunite in The Last Jedi made me cry. The fact that we lost Fisher too soon in 2016 made it so much more emotional, and it’s safe to say that the world will miss her vivacity. And to have Hamill come back as Luke Skywalker and knock it out of the park was the icing on the cake. Here’s to their amazingness.

Favorite Soundtrack: Darkest Hour (Dario Marianelli)

Best Movie Line of 2017: “Failure is the greatest teacher.” – The Last Jedi

Funniest Movie Line: “You go online, they hated Forest Gump. The frickin’ best movie ever.” – The Big Sick

Saddest Movie Line: “He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy.” – Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2

Most Powerful Line: “We have before us many, many long months of struggle and suffering. We will know many old and famous states have fallen into the grip of the Nazi rule. We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be! We shall fight on the beaches! We shall fight on the landing grounds! We shall fight in the fields and in the streets! We shall fight in the hills! We shall never surrender! For without victory, there can be no survival!” – Darkest Hour (this is a cheat, since this is technically his famous speech, but I digress. It’s incredible.)

Favorite Posters:

There you have it, folks. Overall, 2017 was a much better year than 2016. There’s a lot of films I still need to watch, but I’m also looking forward to some films to come this year. Here’s to another good year of film!

 

2016 in Film

Hey all. It’s that time again where I take another break from fashion posting (this time I have an actual valid excuse … giving birth and all) and give my two-cents on the film industry. And um … well, 2016 just about killed it for me — not in the good way, either. Starting in January and going all the way to August, it was looking pretty abysmal. Granted, there were maybe 2 or 3 movies in between there that really weren’t all that bad (which will be discussed further), but MAN, compared to last year’s movie roster, 2016 was like all the bad Tinder matches single people put up with.

Thankfully, August and on has ALMOST made up for the lack of good movies this year has offered. And while I still have several ones to watch that are really generating Oscar buzz (Manchester By the Sea, Moonlight, Silence), right now the #1 priority in my life is taking care of my new baby. So those will have to wait. But until then, here are my picks for the best, worst, dumbest, craziest, & everything in between films of 2016!

Movies Seen in 2016: 39

Movies Yet to See: 40

Best Film of 2016 (seen thus far): Arrival — science fiction in film covers many, many facets of subject matter and spectacle, and this film offered something completely different from what I’d been used to seeing: the thinking man’s alien subgenre. No heavy action, and no overuse of CGI, it’s completely reliant on mystery and intrigue without flashy dialogue or menace. Without giving anything away, the element of family relations really kicked me in the gut, hard, and that is the reason Arrival is my pick for the best movie I’ve seen so far. It’s just an amazing experience that transcended mere filmgoing for me. Watch it, then watch it again and again and again. I know I will.

Favorite Film of 2016: Rogue One — last year’s Star Wars movie came a very, very close 2nd on my favorite. This year, though? All hail Rogue One, ’cause it’s at the top. Is it a perfect film? Far from it. Is it better than Force Awakens or Empire? Nope. BUT as its own Star Wars standalone movie, the first of its kind thus far, it does a mighty fine job of being a great film. It’s gloomy, dark and full of dread, definitely different from the episodic films that came before. There’s more weight and desperation in the characters’ actions, and you feel it. Oh, and I will go on record with the rest of the world and say that the last 30 minutes of the movie are the most AMAZING footage ever recorded to a Star Wars film. Seriously.

Somebody Give These People A Bloody Oscar Already: Kubo and the Two Strings (Laika Entertainment) — Kubo is the movie that my husband and I saw in August that made us both say, “2016! You FINALLY give us a movie that was worth the price of a ticket!” Laika Entertainment got my attention with Coraline in 2009, and Kubo somehow managed to best their previous efforts. It’s a beautiful movie with a wonderful story that uses thrills and humor to the fullest. And like Arrival, the family element is used so brilliantly that if it doesn’t choke you up, even just a tiny bit, you’re basically a robot. (Also, if this movie doesn’t win the Best Animated Feature Oscar, I will riot in the street.)

Obviously This Will Win the Best Picture Oscar, and It Totally Deserves It: La La Land — well, folks, the hype is justifiable this time around: La La Land is simply. Wonderful. Like 2011’s The Artist, it is the perfect callback/homage to an arguably simpler and better Hollywood, while injecting enough modern charm and spunk to appeal to nowaday’s moviegoing crowd. This film is classy, cute, and toe-tapping, and I had a big smile on my goofy face pretty much the whole movie. It helps that Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone have some of the best chemistry ever. If this doesn’t win the Oscar, I will be genuinely shocked. I can’t sing (ha ha) higher praises for this one.

Proof That Indie Films Are Generally Better Than Big-Budget Blockbusters: Hunt for the Wilderpeople — Taika Waititi is basically the New Zealand version of Wes Anderson … which basically translates to, I frickin’ love anything this guy makes. Hunt for the Wilderpeople is hilarious. I haven’t laughed in a movie this much for a long time; its ridiculous humor is right up my alley. And once again, this has a great element of family that has a lot of heart without being schmaltzy. If this film is any indication of how Thor: Ragnarok will be, then the world almost doesn’t deserve Taika Waititi. Almost.

Guilty Pleasure Film of 2016: Batman v Superman – Dawn of Justice — look, I get it. Batman v Superman is not an amazing movie, by any means. It’s kind of a super stinker. But if anything, it gives further proof that, had Hollywood NOT given Zac Snyder the director’s chair, Zac Snyder could be the most formidable creative director working in Hollywood today. For all its lacking in story and common sense, this film is GLORIOUS to look at. I felt like I was literally watching a comic book come to life: almost every shot looks like a panel from a comic book, which is something Snyder is honestly a master at presenting in his films. And um, if there’s one thing that people CAN’T complain about with this … Ben Affleck as Batman/Bruce Wayne? ABSOLUTE BOSS.

The Only Film I Saw More Than Once in the Theatre: Captain America – Civil War — can I just say that this was much better than Winter Soldier? But guess what, this film is basically the same plot of Batman v Superman, and NOBODY wants to admit it! Yes, its overall story and action is a lot better than its competition, but come on, guys. It is the same plot! Though I will say: Black Panther is an awesome superhero I can’t wait to see more of, and Ant-Man/Paul Rudd is a friggin’ national treasure.

Wait, Actually I Saw Another Film in the Theatre More Than Once: Sully — based on the true story of the emergency airline landing in the Hudson River, this movie packs a lot of thrills and heart in a relatively short runtime (just over 90 minutes). Tom Hanks is always great, Clint Eastwood really shines as a director here, and Todd Komarnicki’s script does an exceptional job of putting common sense, and human reaction, on display. Kind of like last year’s Spotlight, only not as righteously outrageous.

Biggest Disappointment of 2016: Suicide Squad — guys, I can’t even with this one. It’s the classic case of having an absolutely phenomenal promotional campaign … and then the end result is such a huge letdown. This was supposed to be DC’s film to shoot them out of mediocrity and into the same realm as Marvel. That didn’t happen, obviously. If you want a truly awesome representation of the Suicide Squad, watch the superb DC Animation movie, Batman: Assault on Arkham. Here’s hoping next year’s Wonder Woman will redeem DC.

Most Underrated Film of 2016: The Little Prince — this was released officially through Netflix, and it definitely needs more love. It’s such a cute film! It stays true to the book (which is great, by the way) whilst weaving in a story that resonates with our modern society. The mix of computer animation and stop-motion is a really nice touch; it’s fun to see the original drawings from the book come to life! And the messages are very touching — I teared up quite a bit at the end. Check it out!

Most Overrated Movie of 2016: Hell or High Water — Hail, Ceasar! was in the running for this title, but lost out by just a hair. I’d heard nothing but rave reviews of Hell or High Water, so when I had the chance to watch it on VidAngel (no judgment, y’all) I was pretty excited to be blown away … and then I wasn’t. Wah-wah. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine movie … just not as riveting as all the critics made it out to be. And the fact that it was written by the same guy who wrote Sicario (which is an AMAZING film) kind of makes me feel let down. Oh, well, can’t win ’em all.

I Advise Not Watching This If You Get Easy Anxiety: Deepwater Horizon — why oh why did I let my husband take me to this when I was in the middle of my pregnancy?? It was one of the most stressful movie experiences I’ve ever had! The whole story is sad and unsettling, much like last year’s Everest, so maybe watch this on a day where a) you’re feeling especially sorry for yourself and want to delve into further woefulness, or b) you want to feel better about your provincial life.

What The Actual Crap Did I Just Watch: The Lobster — if ever there was a film that proves that “not every movie is made for everyone”, this would be the one to do so. The Lobster came into my radar in 2015 as it was making its way around the film fests, and when it was released on VidAngel a few months ago, I sat down to watch what all the fuss was about. And it was … erm … an experience. The entire time I kept thinking, “What am I watching? What am I watching here?? Dear Lord, what the heck am I watching???” The first half was very intriguing and funny, I’ll admit, but the second half was just plain bizarre and, to me, a little offputting. Like 2 films that tried to be 1 cohesive film, but just didn’t mesh well together. Colin Farrell is great in this, though, and it DOES feature my pick for the best movie line this year, but I’m definitely not going to be watching this again anytime soon.

I Feel Incredibly Guilty I Watched This: Deadpool — chimichangas! Deadpool is actually my 2nd all-time favorite superhero (anti-hero, if we’re being technical), but man, I felt guilty after I watched this. And it was on VidAngel, where I edited it down to a PG-13 rating! Yes, the movie was a true representation of the character, but even so, I felt a lot of the dialogue was lacking in originality and relied too much on raunchy humor. Again, it’s a true representation of Deadpool … it just didn’t really click with me. However, this movie does have some of the funniest lines I’ve heard … so idk, I’m torn. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This Year’s Jurassic World Award of Inferiority/Worst Movie of 2016: Independence Day Resurgence — wait … so you’re telling me, these filmmakers had 20 years to come up with an epic sequel for one of the best sci-fi action films ever … and THIS is what we get? REALLY? You had 20 frickin’ years to write something that could’ve been awesome and fun and thrilling, and THIS is the stinking pile of dog crud we get?! You’ve got to be kidding. I HAVE SO MUCH RAGE FOR THIS MOVIE I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT. But you probably get the idea. Ugh.

Appreciation For Matt Damon, Part II: Jason Bourne — I understand the lackluster reviews for this. By no means is this the best Bourne movie (that still belongs to Ultimatum), but honestly, I really enjoyed this one. It was smart and had good action; I’m a Paul Greengrass fan, what can I say? And uh, yeah, friggin’ Matt Damon, man … guy just gets better with age. Perhaps the Appreciation for Matt Damon award will become an annual thing … though I don’t know how he’ll fare with that goshawful-looking The Great Wall looks. Who knows.

Most Anticipated Movie I Still Need To Watch: A Monster Calls — this beats out Manchester, Moonlight, Silence, Fences, Moana, Paterson, and Passengers. A Monster Calls is one of the best books I’ve ever read; it made me cry, and I NEVER cry in books. (I know, I’m heartless.) And the fact that it’s now a movie, AND it’s getting rave reviews, makes me very anxious to see it. Like, now. Get to my city already, movie! I need to see youuuu!

Favorite Soundtrack: La La Land — what can I say, I’m a big sucker for jazz. Justin Hurwitz did music work in Damien Chazelle’s other movie (Whiplash), which revolves around jazz band. So his work in La La Land is wonderful, since jazz is a big influence/part of the story and music. Plus, the entire soundtrack has been stuck in my head for a week now, so that’s got to say something.

Best Movie Line of 2016: “If you encounter any problems you cannot resolve yourselves, you will be assigned children, that usually helps.” – The Lobster

Funniest Movie Lines: “A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break? That’s like, sixteen walls.”
“That’s right! You’re about to be killed by a zamboni!”
“I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it. They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he’s just a bad parent.”
– Deadpool (I couldn’t choose. All 3 made me LOL, hard.)

Saddest Movie Line:“We love you, little sister.” – Rogue One

Most Powerful Movie Line: “Like you? I go outta here every morning, I bust my butt ’cause I like you? You’re about the biggest fool I ever saw. A man is supposed to take care of his family. You live in my house, feed your belly with my food, put your behind on my bed because you’re my son. It’s my duty to take care of you, I owe a responsibility to you, I ain’t got to like you! Now, I gave everything I got to give you! I gave you your life! Me and your Mama worked out between us and liking your black ass wasn’t part of the bargain! Now don’t you go through life worrying about whether somebody like you or not! You best be makin’ sure that they’re doin’ right by you! You understand what I’m sayin’?” – Fences (I know I haven’t seen this yet, but when this appeared on the trailer for the movie … chills, man.)

Favorite Movie Posters:

So 2016 has been kind of a letdown year, but 2017 definitely is looking up. A ton of my favorite directors all have movies coming out — Spielberg, Nolan, Anderson, Villeneuve, Johnson, Waititi — including a new Star Wars. Here’s hoping it can make up for 2016!

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Baby, Your Life’s About to Change.

Hey, friends. I cannot believe it’s been 4 flippin’ months since I posted. Ugh. I’ve become very much a slacker. But guess what? I have a good reason.

For those who don’t know already — which is probably, maybe, 2 of you, for whatever reason — I’m pregnant! I just hit 28 weeks this week, so that’s pretty exciting! I’ve been pretty private about this pregnancy thus far; I don’t really post weekly updates on Facebook, I obviously haven’t written anything on HERE, and I keep my answers kind of vague with the general public. But I thought, because I haven’t kept a journal for five years, I’d go ahead and write about the pregnancy on here. Because, clearly, nothing is more private than a blog.

(And in case you were wondering, yes, I will try to get a few fashion posts on here very soon. It’s just been very hot here, and I’m not as brave as some of these other girls who can stand to have their pictures taken whilst pregnant. So keep your eyes out.)

So, starting from the beginning: at the very start of April, I started to suspect that I might be pregnant, but I was scared to get it confirmed. A couple times last year, I thought I was expecting and took the tests, which all came back negative. After the 3rd time that happened, I got a little depressed–which surprised me, to be honest. I didn’t think NOT being pregnant would affect me so much, but it did. So THIS time, when I was suspicious, I was terrified to get another negative. So I decided to ditch the at-home tests and had Devon drive me to Instacare, where I could get the no-fail test right then and there.

Ten minutes later, the doctor came back and informed me I was six weeks pregnant. HOORAY! Devon and I were so happy, albeit a little flabbergasted. We set up an appointment with a local OB (whose house I’d happened to visit two times before) and got everything squared away a few weeks later. I was also set up with a fetal specialist, to make sure I was going to be okay taking my 2 medications all throughout the pregnancy. Devon and I were sure we were having a girl, but the guessing pool with our families and friends were split.

The first trimester … to put it bluntly, it was absolute hell. I had morning sickness at least twice a day from late April to late June. When I was 12, I had surgery for my acid reflux, wherein the stomach is wrapped around the bottom of the stomach. The biggest side effect this surgery gives is you lose the ability to vomit–instead, you’re left with dry-heaving. So when I say I had morning sickness, I mean I was dry-heaving up to twice a day for close to 2 1/2 months. And let me tell you, IT WAS MISERABLE. Imagine trying to puke and not being able to get anything out, all while your stomach muscles constrict and tighten, and your throat feels as if it’s going to tear apart. That’s pretty much what it was like.

THANKFULLY, once July hit I was finally over the hill. Our baby was growing just fine, I wasn’t throwing up all the time, AND I was getting my appetite back. I found out I’d lost 8 pounds in the 1st trimester, which was shocking to me. If you recall my fashion post in May, that was in the middle of the battle. When I looked at the photos while writing up the post, I was taken aback at how thin I looked. But now that the worst was behind me, I was looking forward to the most important info to find out about a baby: the gender!

At the OB appointment, my mom came with us to see what our baby was. On the ultrasound, our doctor said he was “90% sure” the baby was a GIRL. A girl! We were right! We were excited! We finally posted it on Facebook! Things were moving forward smoothly.

Except, not really. For two weeks after the appointment, Devon, my mom, AND I all felt a little weird. Like something wasn’t quite right. I couldn’t really put my finger on it, and it was constantly at the back of my mind. We had one last appointment with the fetal specialist, and their ultrasound equipment was a much higher quality than the one at our OB’s office. So, half joking, when the tech asked if I had any questions or concerns, I mentioned how I wanted to make sure our baby was still, in fact, a girl. So I laid back and let the tech put that weird goo on my stomach, and up came the image.

We were all quiet as we stared at what could only be described as a third leg. After a minute of silence, the tech said, “Umm…that’s definitely a boy.”

So THAT was what had been nagging at me! Our she was actually a HE! It was so bizarre that we just laughed about it … we still do.

Since hitting the 3rd trimester, things are still going smoothly. Baby has been kicking a lot, which fills me with a combination of fascination, and being creeped out. WHAT IS HE DOING IN THERE, somersaults?? Sometimes I think he goes spread eagle and kicks down near my bladder while jazz-handing up in my belly button region. It’s all very odd. But it makes me laugh all the time, and I’m happy he’s being active, since that’s a clear sign he’s growing and healthy. What a relief.

I still plan on being pretty private after Lil’ Mister is born; don’t expect to hear anything about it until at least a month has passed. It’s just something Devon and I have discussed and decided on — though, if I’m being completely honest, and I am, it was mostly my idea and I pushed for it. I have nothing against these moms that share the crud out of their kids. Bully for you! I think that’s great. But my natural skepticism/suspicion/paranoia makes me very hesitant of blasting Facebook or Instagram or this blog with photos of my baby. I’ve read stories of kids’ photos being stolen from said social media outlets for seemingly innocent purposes, or, worst case scenario, for malicious child-porn-centric websites. That possibility scares me more than actually delivering the baby. So, for my own overprotective mother desires, I will refrain from putting my son on the internet — and I ask that others respect that, too.

But for now, there’s still a lot more weeks ahead to prepare for. I’m taking it a day at a time, which is all any pregnant mama can ask for and expect for themselves. Devon has been, seriously, Best Husband On The Planet during this whole process. He’s been simultaneously my cheerleader and caretaker, all while working crazy unexpected hours with his job. I know this hasn’t been easy for him, either, but honestly, I cannot sing his praises enough — and he’s all mine. How lucky am I? 🙂

So, that’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed my overindulgent selfish words (ha). Like I said before, I will try my hardest to get at least 2 or 3 pregnant fashion posts in before I get REALLY big — or really fat. Either one. Happy days to you, readers! ❤

 

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2015 Film in Review

Hola, amigos! I’ve been taking a break from fashion blogging and focusing on other things, like writing and being sick. Because being sick is like an Olympic sport that I am a champion of. Isn’t that just so nice?

Anyways, for those who know me well know that I consider myself a HUGE film buff/nerd/enthusiast. 2015 was certainly an exceptional year for the movie business, and so I’ve decided to take the time to write down a review of the best, worst, weirdest, and coolest films that I saw from the year. Enjoy!

Number of Movies Seen Released in 2015: 38

Number of Movies Still to See: 20

Best Movie of 2015 (Seen Thus Far): Spotlight — no other movie from 2015 rattled me as much as this journalism masterpiece of a film. The subject matter is harrowing, but it is handled tastefully and effectively; the story runs the whole show, never steeping over into sentimentality (which, for the record, I would’ve had NO problem with if it had), but still being devastatingly heartbreaking. It also is the only movie that I saw that made me feel strong emotions after viewing and made me question a lot of things about the way the whole thing was resolved. I definitely recommend this to everyone; it is an amazing experience.

Favorite Movie of 2015: Mad Max Fury Road — I have all the respect and admiration of Spotlight … but not even that could top this batshiz-crazy-adrenaline-pumping-I-can’t-believe-how-awesome-this-whole-thing-works movie. Having never seen the previous installments of the Mad Max franchise (which I still need to do!), I went into this thinking, “Oh, boy, this is gonna be another overhyped movie that everyone loved but will most likely suck.” Um, I am now shamelessly eating my words. This movie is fantastic to look at, nonsensical in the way that it makes sense, and so superbly acted that I had to remind myself that the world of Mad Max is not, in fact, real. I just friggin’ LOVE this movie so much.

2nd Favorite Movie of 2015 That is Basically Tied with the #1 Spot: Star Wars The Force Awaken — Come on, guys. This was easily the most-hyped and anticipated movie ever*, and I can honestly say that it met every expectation and thensome of mine. Everything worked, and JJ Abrams should be commended for bringing the nostalgia and magic from the Original Trilogy back into view. I loved the new characters (especially Poe Dameron), the dialogue was snappy, the visual effects were perfect, the music was tear-inducing … everything. And BB-8? CUTEST ROBOT BEACH BALL EVER. Rian Johnson and Colin Trevorrow, you have big shoes to fill. *until Episode VIII comes out!

The One Movie That Made Me Ugly Cry Like Nobody’s Business: Inside Out — thank you, Pixar, for once again shattering my soul into a thousand million pieces with this comeback of a movie. Two words: BING BONG. (Or is that just one word combined? Bingbong? I still don’t know…)

Movie That Made My Appreciation of Matt Damon and Ridley Scott Even Stronger: The Martian — although, for the record, my appreciation for Matt Damon has never been called into question. Oh, and welcome back, Ridley Scott. We’ve missed you. (Fun fact: this movie also had probably one of the funniest nonseen uses of the F-word … and now I’m going to go get reprimanded by my mother, if she read this post. Sorry, Mam!)

Movie That Awakened My Inner Five Year Old Girly Self: Cinderella — guys, for reals, I adore this movie. Cinderella has always been my favorite fairy tale story, and seeing this come to life in live-action was such a treat. This movie also falls into the category of Movie That I Wish I Owned Every Single Outfit From, and Movie That I Discovered That My Husband’s Doppelganger is a Disney Prince. 🙂

Favorite Marvel Movie: Ant-Man — I’ll say one thing about Marvel: they never cease to surprise me. Like a repeat of last year’s Guardians of the Galaxy, I really had no high expectations of this movie, but in the end I came out absolutely adoring it. In fact, Ant-Man has officially taken the top spot as my favorite Marvel movie ever.

Guilty Pleasure Movie of 2015: Jupiter Ascending — yes, this movie is bad. The writing, acting and overall experience is hokey as heck … but on the other hand, it’s like watching a live-action anime movie. So I enjoyed this movie a lot. Sorry. (Also, I WANT THAT WEDDING DRESS. Holy crap.)

Most Underrated Movie: The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2 — I cannot believe the hate this movie got. It was so great! A lot of people were turned off to the Hunger Games after the snoozefest that was Mockingjay Part 1 (in defense, that’s how the book goes), so I’m sure a lot of them were just like, “Meh,” on this one. But seriously, I’ve never been so satisfied with an adapted conclusion as this one. And I wasn’t even upset about the changes they made to it. This definitely needs more love.

Most Overrated Movie: Ex Machina — while I will admit that the writing of this movie is very good, and the acting is exemplary, I was very underwhelmed by the whole thing. It’s been a critical darling, but honestly? I thought it was pretty boring. I’m obviously missing the point … sorry, guys.

Most Stylishly-Filmed Movie: The Man from U.N.C.L.E. — leave it to Guy Ritchie to make another impressive movie that’s as beautifully presented as it is quick-witted. I really love this one; it made me envious of the ’60s … again.

Biggest Bummer of a Movie: Everest — this is not a bummer in the sense that it was a bad movie. On the contrary, I found it to be quite good. But this is not a happy story. It ends on a very bleak note. It will make you wonder why the crap people still climb Mount Everest. It will make you question the existentialism of life and the justification of leaving the dead bodies of your loved ones on the frozen peaks of a deadly mountain. It will make you sad, I guarantee it. Watch at your own caution.

Biggest Disappointment: In the Heart of the Sea — ever since I first saw the trailer back in 2014, I was anticipating this hard. A movie by Ron Howard, based on the crazy true story that inspired one of the greatest novels of all time? Sign me up. But after watching it, I was left feeling a bit empty. It was visually stunning and well-acted, yes, but something was missing … and I still can’t quite put my finger on it. But maybe I’m being harsh, because I watched this right after seeing Spotlight … I don’t know. Just calling it like I see it.

The 2015 Period Romance Drama Movie to Add to Every Jane Austen Adaptation: Far From the Madding Crowd — can I just say real quick how much I loved the soundtrack to this? Absolutely gorgeous. Also, I want the polka-dot dress Bathsheba wears in it.

Movie That Should Have Been Amazing, But Actually Wasn’t and It Infuriates Me So Much: Jurassic World — begin rant: Jurassic Park is easily one of the most beloved movies ever made, and it also happens to be the movie that I’ve seen the most. (54 times. I’m not even kidding.) I was so unbelievably excited for this movie … and it spat in my face. Granted, I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed it the 1st time around. But watching it a few more times just makes me angry. The dialogue is campy, the overall plot totally nonsensical (using velociraptors as military weapons? REALLY??), and too many characters I had no attachment for. (Chris Pratt was hot, yes, but I had more concern for Lowery, the nostalgia nerd that has the pedophile mustache.) AND THOSE VISUAL EFFECTS ARE SO BAD. If Universal had used the same CGI studio as in 2014’s Godzilla, it would have been incredible. But they didn’t, and they just look dumb. JURASSIC WORLD YOU COULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING BUT YOU WEREN’T AND NOW I AM ANGRY AND DEMAND MY MONEY BACK POSTHASTE.

Most Anticipated Movie That I Still Need to Watch: Son of Saul — a foreign language film that deals with a Sonderkommando trying to give a dead boy that could be his son a proper burial in Auschwitz during the Holocaust? Um, yeah, sign me up. Runners-up to this category: The Revenant, Room, and Macbeth.

Worst Movie of 2015: Krampus — I will NEVER let my mother pick another movie again. Granted, when I saw the trailer for this, I wanted to see it. But I regret my decision. It just creeped the cuss out of me. Something about demonic Satan-possessed toys really makes me squirm. I’ve learned my lesson in trying to give PG-13 horror-based movies a chance. NEVER AGAIN. Now excuse me while I cower in the corner in the fetal position.

The Cutest and Most Romantic Gesture From a Movie Character: Ellis Jones from The Age of Adaline — Ellis Jones sees how much Adaline Bowman loves to read (and he loves the way she looks as she reads), so to win her affection, he brings her a bouquet of flowers to her work – and by flowers, I mean classic works of literature that have a different flower in the title: White Oleander by Janet Fitch, Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury, and Daisy Miller by Henry James. SWOON. ❤

Best Performance By An Actor That Was Top-Billed But Hardly Said a Word: Tom Hardy (Mad Max Fury Road) — let’s be honest: the man could be in a movie about the history of doilies and have a non-speaking part, and I’d still watch it and be enthralled. But in all seriousness, I thought his performance was fantastic. He is one of those actors that can say so much with just a look on his wonderfully beautiful face. Am I being too poetic? Maybe. Am I speaking truth? Of course I am.

Most Female Empowering Actress Performance: Daisy Ridley (Star Wars The Force Awakens) — 2015 was a shining year for strong female performances, but Daisy Ridley’s performance as Rey sticks with me the most. Rey is a stubborn female that has unwavering hope for a brighter future whilst living in less than satisfactory circumstances. But she takes everything with a grain of salt and stays true to herself to the very end, and that is pretty inspiring to watch. Plus, she kicks butt with a big staff and a lightsaber. What more could you ask for?

Best Movie Character That is Obviously Part of the Feminist Agenda, But I Totally Support and Can Get Behind: Furiosa (Mad Max Fury Road) — hot dang, this woman is incredible. She’s tough as nails but still empathetic. She kicks butt without being overly masculine. She’s pretty and not paraded as a sex object. And she basically steals the show from the top-billed character. Not bad, Imperator. Not bad at all.

Actor That Has Basically Defied Time and Refuses to Age: Paul Rudd (Ant-Man) — the man is 46, guys. 46. And he looks the same as he did in Clueless – which is 20 years old. WHAT? Also, he was perfectly cast as Ant-Man; good job to Marvel for finding their next Robert Downey Jr.

Actress That Was All Over 2015 and Will Be a Great Addition to the Hollywood Lineup: Alicia Vikander — I saw her in Ex Machina and The Man From U.N.C.L.E., and I loved her in both. She’s a very good actress and can already tell that she’s a versatile force to be reckoned with. I can’t wait to see her in more movies.

Actor That Played an Extremely Unlikeable Character in One Movie, and Then Turned Around and Played a Totally Charming Sweetheart in Another Movie: Oscar Isaac — I’ve been watching this man for a couple years now, and he’s definitely in my Top 5 Favorite Actors at the moment. But man, he plays a total douche in Ex Machina – very well, no surprise. I did not like him at all in it. And then, just like that, he turns around and ends up being my new favorite Star Wars character. Complete 180. Now that‘s great acting. Fun fact: Oscar Isaac also easily falls into the category of Actor Who Can Look Like a Different Nationality in Almost Every Movie He’s In – facial hair maketh the man.

Most Adorable Actor That I Have Yet to See the Movie He’s In: Jacob Tremblay — I still need to see Room, as I previously mentioned, but I’ve seen a couple interviews of this kid, and he is SO CUTE. He looks like the male version of one of my nieces, I’m not even kidding.

Veteran Actor That Came Out of Nowhere and I Cannot Wait to See More Of: Mark Rylance — Bridge of Spies is not my favorite Steven Spielberg movie (HERESY!!!), but holy crap, this guy killed it in the film. Charming, dry, and very appealing to watch, all I was thinking while watching him was, “WHERE HAS THIS MAN BEEN ALL MY LIFE, AND WHEN CAN I SEE HIM AGAIN?” Good news: he’ll be playing the BFG in Spielberg’s adaptation of the Roald Dahl book. I cannot wait!

Actress That I Missed Seeing In a Movie: Emma Stone — where’d you go, girlie?! I missed you! She’s one of my favorite actresses, and while she was in 2 movies in 2015 (Aloha and Irrational Man), I haven’t seen them and probably won’t. Come back, Emma! You’re greatly missed!

Actress That is FINALLY Getting the Recognition She Deserves: Rachel McAdams — I have adored this woman for a very long time, but she’s been under the radar for ever longer. And now, she’s in the best movie of 2015 and nominated for an Oscar for it. YAY, RACHEL! You go, girl! Her nomination makes me very happy, as I thought she did the best job in Spotlight – which is very flattering to say, since the whole ensemble was superb.

The One Movie Character That I Weirdly Had Feelings For, Even Though He is a Robot and It Makes No Sense, But I Can’t Help It So Quit Judging Me: Ultron — I mean … he’s played by James Spader. I would love nothing more than to have James Spader read me the entire menu from Taco Bell. Or maybe the Feminine Mystique. And um, Ultron also has the best Robot Badonkadonk known to cinema. It’s terrifyingly alluring how much I had feelings for this guy.

Saddest Movie Character Death (**WARNING: MAJOR SPOILER ALERT**): Han Solo in Star Wars The Force Awakens — ‘kay, guys, for real, if you’re going to be pissed at me for spoiling it, it’s your own freaking fault that you haven’t seen it yet. Anyways. DAGGER TO MY HEART!!! I totally called it, him dying and all, but it still hurt a ton. And it still hurts a ton after watching that movie 3 times. And it will continue to hurt a ton every single time I watch it hereafter. On the bright side, though, JJ Abrams finally gave Harrison Ford the death he’s been wanting to happen since Empire Strikes Back, so bravo, JJ. But still. 😦 Runner-up goes to Pixar for killing every person’s encapsulated imaginary friend shown on film for the 1st time, Bingbong. No, I’m not crying; it’s just raining on my face.

Movie Villain With the Greatest Fashion Sense and Hair: Kylo Ren from Star Wars The Force Awakens — my goodness. When Adam Driver took his mask off for the 1st time, it was like a frickin’ L’Oreal commercial. I definitely felt things witnessing it. And now I have dreams where I run my fingers through his hair and braid it with alpaca fur. Runner-up goes to Immorten Joe from Mad Max Fury Road … although he is much more, er, terrifying to look at.

Favorite Movie Soundtrack: Star Wars The Force Awakens — let me start by saying that 2015 had a myriad of excellent film scores: Mad Max Fury Road, The Danish Girl, Far From the Madding Crowd, Everest, Inside Out, In the Heart of the Sea, The Hateful Eight … I could go on. Superb year. But I have to go with good ol’ John Williams on this one. Yes, maybe I’m biased and incredibly shameless, but no other soundtrack from this year got stuck in my head more than this one. It just proves that the master himself still has it, even at 83.

Favorite Movie Song: Writing’s on the Wall (Spectre) — this one took me by surprise. I’m not the biggest fan of Sam Smith … frankly, the guy is a whiny singer. Ugh. BUT holy moly, this song is fantastic. It perfectly echoes Skyfall’s Bond theme, but stands apart as its own worthy entry. And Smith’s vocals are to die for, not whiny at all! Now if only the rest of his songs could be that way …

Best Movie Line of 2015: “Why did you have to make it personal?” (Lowery, Jurassic World)

Funniest Movie Line of 2015: “THE RATS CAN FLY!” (random office guy, Spy)

Saddest Movie Line of 2015: “Take her to the moon for me.” (Bingbong, Inside Out)

Most Powerful Movie Line of 2015: “We got two stories here: a story about degenerate clergy, and a story about a bunch of lawyers turning child abuse into a cottage industry. Which story do you want us to write? Because we’re writing one of them.” (Robby Robinson, Spotlight)

Most Cringe-worthy Movie Line of 2015: “It’s clobberin’ time!” (Ben Grimm, Fantastic Four) *NOTE: there is actually a much worse line than this one, but it is very inappropriate and NSFW … so I decided not to include it. Here’s a hint, though: it’s from Spy, and while I watched it edited on Vidangel, the context was still very evident. So … there you go.

Creepiest Movie Line of 2015: “Isn’t it strange, to create something that hates you?” (Ava, Ex Machina)

Best Movie Line of 2015 That Doubles As a Mantra: “I live. I die. I live again.” (Nux, Mad Max Fury Road)

Most Hilarious Movie Insult of 2015: “Tell Commander Lewis, disco sucks.” (Mark Watney, The Martian)

Favorite Movie Posters of 2015:

 

Well, folks, I hope you enjoyed this boring post. Here’s to another year of great movies! Lookin’ at you, 2016 — don’t disappoint.